tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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