Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
