wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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