i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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