girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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