pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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