we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
