what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
