please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
