I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
