She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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