I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
