Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
