I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
love makes seman taste better
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
