Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
