I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
