Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
