Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
