i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
