So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
