sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
