You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
