If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Panties = found
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