Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
