she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
