I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
