I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
