so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
