dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
