I cannot find my penis.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
is wine microwaveable?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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