i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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