She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
