I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
