Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
