office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
