Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
