Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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