so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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