Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
