The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
