boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
