I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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