Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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