We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
