if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
