i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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