if i can run in heels then i can drive
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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