You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
