I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
