I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
