if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
