i need an iv and a liver transplant
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
