I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
