i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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