and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
