i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just blew my weed a kiss
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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